smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
