Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Randomize
