Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Randomize
