i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Randomize
