I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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