No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
