Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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