i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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