I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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