mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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