dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
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you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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