So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Randomize
