I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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