one might say we're banned from that church
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Tornado booty call.. dedication
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
