Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
