How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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