That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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