So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
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Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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