Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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