my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
