That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
