apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
