I wish I could punch you in the face.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
