So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
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