turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Randomize
