I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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