38 yer olds are good kisserssss
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I deserve to be covered in dicks
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
