dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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