ya dads aren't the best wingmen
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I wish i was in the wii world.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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