Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
