What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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