tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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