gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
