she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
