I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
