lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
