i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
