she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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