Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
