Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Buhtt sex?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
