My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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