I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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