I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
