Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
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