my shit smells like andre
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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