so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
