umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I want her autograph on my taint
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
