So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
