Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
