I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
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The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
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i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
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