I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
i want to swaddle you in tequila
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
