Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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