The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
