Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
