Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
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