Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
