at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
