I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
