I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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