ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
