She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
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mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
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I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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