Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
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She said she wanted to have closure sex.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
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You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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