I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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