Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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