i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
