North Korea, Best Korea!
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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