wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
