Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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