talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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