quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
We have so much sex to catch up on
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
