you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
