is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
