haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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