Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
this beer tastes like vomit already
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Randomize
